Making War

This past weekend has been a launching pad for me! I was forced to face myself for real. Sometimes we get so caught up in the religious routine of being a leader, teaching, praying, and being in place at church that we forget that God is not concerned with our works. He is concern with the position of our hearts. For the past month I have felt so far from God. I was holding on to so much disappointment, resentment, hurt, and FEAR.

I was afraid of Mary getting out of control, I feared my marriage failing, I feared people and their opinion of me, I feared that I was ineffective in ministry, I feared that my leader really did not want me around, I feared the idea that my family did not understand me, I feared the expectations that everyone had of me, I feared failure. FEAR had become who I was. I did not realize how fear can come upon you so strong and cause you to walk in hatred, anger, and push you away from the people who really love you.

Over the past two months I have been crying out to God to break off all these things that were trying to kill me. I was in a place of explosion. I was feeling like no one around me really cared about me. I kept playing over in my mind every negative word that has ever been said to me. I was remembering the past and my promise that I would never allow a man to hurt me again. Fear birthed suspicion. Suspicion birthed jealousy and jealousy birthed a spirit of Cain.

Please realize that this all started off as hurt and the hurt turned into iniquity. That Iniquity turned into anger and frustration. The Frustration caused me to go into protection mode. Protection mode is another word for Fear. When you begin to walk in fear you are forfeiting your right to your inheritance.

2 Tim states “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

When I was operating in fear, I was not walking in love, power, and self-discipline. Some versions say "sound mind" and I was not walking in a "sound mind" and therefore my decisions were not sound. The moment that I started walking in fear and the love left and I lost contact with my savior.

1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

So God brought me to a place were I could not go any further than the place of repentance. So Saturday I found myself elevating my heart above my head. The spirit of fear had to die! God is allowing us to bring our heart to Him and he is allowing things to surface so that you can deal with the true position of Heart. God is not concerned with your works but He is concerned with you heart! Revival starts with conviction and Repentance. When you are convicted (not condemed) you know it’s nothing that you can do in your own strength. Remember that repentance brings blessing. I have a weight lifted off my shoulders. I not only confessed to the Father but the Father forced me to expose myself to everyone in leadership that morning. I allowed the light of truth to shine on the darkest places of my heart. That light exposed every lie that the enemy was trying to get me to believe. Now the enemy has no rights to my heart.

I urge you to let go and let God. I know you have heard that before. But we have to get to a place where we realize that we sin against no one else but God. When we are angry and hurt and disappointed , God is bigger. When someone lets us down, God is bigger, When we have expectations that are not met, God’s thought are higher! We have to stop letting words, issues, situations and people keep us from knowing God.

I leave you with this 2 Cor 13:3 (Message)“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the sake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t have love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do I’m BANKRUPT without love. “

Let the love of God invade you. It’s not your leader. It’s not your mother and father. It’s not your sister and brother. It’s not your friend or foe. It’s you standing in the need of prayer and in that place of humility you will be able to push through the hurt, pain, fear, anger, and disappointment. God is bigger and His love can not operate in you when you are full of iniquity and unforgiveness.

Let it Go and Grab a hold of God! It’s too much work trying to be the one in control. It’s too much work always finding fault in someone else. It’s too much work being selfish. The Word tells us to cast our burdens on Him because His burden is light. Cast down every vain imagination that exalts itself higher than God. Get your mind steadfast on the Father and He will keep you in perfect peace. In all things acknowledge God and He will direct your path. WWJD …… He would draw the line in the sand and say to you cast the first stone.

I urge you to enter in 2010 baggage free! It’s some people that you need to forgive for real. It’s some repentance that you need to do. It’s some things that we have to give up and PRIDE is one of them! God is not the author of confusion and where there is division and confusion that is not God. That is the enemy.

I know this post is long but God just wants us to draw close to Him. He wants us to know Him and without true Love we do not know Him. I got to know Him! How about you?

Repentance Brings Blessing

God has been faithful! His faithfulness has not depended on our ability to get everything right. He has shown us His grace and mercy even when we did not deserve it. We have taken His grace for granted. God is giving us the opportunity to get it right! Repent, Dust yourself off and begin to fight the good fight of faith.

Get back in the game people! Return to the Lord although you have falling by your iniquity. (Hosea 14) We have been driven away by our own sinful desires. There is no temptation that can come upon us that is not common to man. That means that the temptation that we face is common in this age, but we can only be tempted by what we desire. My Pastor always says for most people (normal people) you can not give them a little 5 year old and say rape them. That is sick! We would kill the person who tried to get us to do it. So when you are tempted, it's because in your heart you desire that sin.

God is saying "open up the doors of your heart and allow Me to come and purify you." Allow God to bless you. You have to embrace the GREATER pleasures of serving the Father. It's time to set aside the weight of sin and take hold of the Father's grace and tender kindness. His yoke is easy and His burden is light!

Turn to the Lord with all your heart with fasting, weeping and mourning. Give Him your heart and not your works, not your good idea, not your opinions, and not your lip service. He desires your heart. Give him your heart and He will be gracious to you. When you return to the Lord you will experience his mercy. (Joel 2)

There is a blessing in repenting.

Dear Beloved

Good morning my beloved! I saw you when you woke this morning. I smiled with expectation because I have so many blessings lined up you for on today. You met me this morning in that secret place and I was able to make love to you there. We laughed and we cried. You shared with me your deepest concerns, and I touched you and that concern went away. I love it when you let me into the deep places of your heart. I love it when just rest in my arms.

As I kissed you today I released endurance to stand against your enemy. As I held your hands I released healing and prosperity. As I rubbed your head I released a peace and I washed away the memories of yesterday. As I massaged your back I released strength to stand. As I rubbed your feet I anointed them with oil and I released the ability to run your race.

I have need of you today... so go and do not forget my touch.. do not forget my embrace.. think on it and it will help you today. There is another than longs to be your lover, but his love is temporary and my love is forever!

LIVE!

The word tell us that Jesus Christ came and died so that we may have life and have it MORE abundantly. I speak to the nation to LIVE!

We must embrace the word of God and allow the word to be the final say. We do not live by bread alone but by EVERY WORD that proceeds from the mouth of the Father. (That is the word of God)

So I encourage you to get up this morning arm yourself with the word and go on living. DO not be distracted, do not worry, do not be dismayed BUT have a renewed and steadfast spirit. Believe that God is not like man. His thoughts are not like our thoughts, His ways are soooo not like our ways. What you did on yesterday is gone! Today is a new day. Humble yourself before the throne of God and know that the Beloved desires you to come unto Him. Come to Him undone so that you can see and KNOW His hand in your life!

He is breaking the strongholds.. He is the hope to the hopeless… He is healing…. He is redeeming.. He pouring His love upon you.. He is holding you tight underneath His wings.
Ez 16:6 --- Then (Jesus) passed by you and saw you kicking about your blood, and as you lay there in your blood (He) said to you, “Live!”

He is your beloved…He has need of you… Your name is in engraved in the palm of His hand… Nothing can pluck you out of His hand… Nothing can separate you from the love of Abba Father… He has set His heart on you…..You have His attention.. You will LIVE and not die!

Where are you?

"To everything there is a season, a time to every purpose under heaven: a time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to pluck up that which was planted; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to mourn, and a time to dance, a time to cast away stones, a and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend; a time to sew; a time to keep silence, a time to speak; a time to love; and a time to hate; a time of war; and a time of peace." Ecc 3:1-8

It's Season for everything! Where do you find yourself and do you trust God to see you in that season and bring you out.

YES LORD!

I am sitting at IHOP the International House of Prayer in Kansas City with my hubby. We are on our honeymoon. We have been here for three days. God has really been speaking to me concerning embracing the NEW and letting go of all the things of the past. Restoration is what I keep hearing. God has shifted many of us to a new place but enemy tries to remind us of the past so that we can not see the new shift that has taken place.

God is saying that I have given you beauty for ashes. That old is gone and behold I have done a new thing. The Promise of Restoration is what God is releasing NOW!

Jer 33:3 "Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know"

Call on the Lord in this season and He will answer you and show you things that you do not know. He will pull out gifts in you that you did not even know existed. He will pull out of you the deep desires of your heart that you had forgotten about. The desires of your heart that life tried to wipe out are the desires that He is bringing back. DREAM again! There are promises in your life that have not yet been fulfilled. Cling to the promises of the Lord and do not let go until every promise is fulfilled. Remember that every good and perfect gift comes from the Lord!

Someone thought you were dead. Someone saw dead bones but God saw you as a member of His last day army! ARISE and walk out the promises of the Lord.

Lift your hands now and cry out "JESUS be gloried in my life. I turn to you oh Lord! Here is my life and it belongs to you. I surrender Lord. My desire is to please you in all that I do. When people look at me let them see you. Let your word run in my life and let it run swiftly, let your word be gloried in my life. Lord I turn my eyes to you and I praise you for your mercy. Thank you Lord for coming to me while I was dead in my transgressions and you gave me new life. Your mercy endures forever. Thank you Father for calling me out. Thank you for showing me my destiny. YES Lord.. My heart and my soul says YES LORD! Continue to reveal yourself to me."

In Jesus Name AMEN!

It's Worth It!

WOW! I just wanted to share with everyone the faithfulness of my daddy.

In 2003 I gave my life, my mind and my body to the Father. I did not know everything but I knew that my life was headed down hill. Since January of 2004 I made a vow to the Father that the next man I have sex with would be my husband. I then took my vow to another level. I said to my daddy, "I do not even want to waste time dating". That was in 2004. Now I am 23 days and counting from becoming Mrs. Ian "Joshua" Walker. These 6 years have not always been easy. I have cried myself to sleep at night. I have kicked and screamed. I have tried to walk away but I kept finding myself back at the altar. I now realize that it is WORTH IT!

People pray for houses and cars and material things. When I got saved I knew that I did not want my daughter to ever experience "uncle so & so" or "mommy friend #1 and #2 and #3 and #4". My prayer was God I want to be married by the time I am 30 and I want Him to be a man that loves you more than he loves me. I prayed Lord let him love Mary like his own. Let her be able to look at him and see a man of God and never want to settle for less. I prayed that when I got married my house would be a place of worship. Let me tell you God gave me what I needed and more! Joshua is God sent. He is the man that God fashioned for me! He is my friend and I can not wait until August 15 when I trade in the disappointments of relationships for my promise.

On last night Pastor preached a message titled "Make Room for Your Blessing". I encourage every woman and man to prepare yourself today for what God wants to do in your life. I did not realize what I was making room for in 2003 when I walked away from a life of sin. I did not realize that when I changed my number and I turned away from friends, what I was making room for. I did not realize that when I gave up dating and sex that I was preparing for my King. YES there was and is still more preparation but please understand that the word tells us that God is able and will do MORE than we can ever imagine.

Close your eyes right now...... Imagine what you want for your life.... Imagine your marriage... Imagine your home... Imagine your children... Imagine your ministry... Imagine God using you to touch the nation... Now open you eyes and know that GOD can DO EVEN MORE THAN WHAT YOU JUST IMAGINED!

God is blessing those that have prepared themselves to receive. Start preparing yourself today for your destiny. FAITH without WORKS is DEAD! Whatever you are believing God for prepare yourself for it!

1 Chron 4:10 - Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, "Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain." And God granted his request.

Jebez just did not ask God to enlarge his territory. He knew that he needed to be able to handle larger territory, so he asked for God's hand to be with him and keep him from pain. You are not alone in this NEW place. Allow God to have His hand on you so that He can process you and prepare you to walk into larger territory.

Today in this hour God is releasing new territory! Territory is your right mind, your finances, your purity, your hope and dreams, your health, your marriage, your children, your home, your car, your peace, or your ability to endure. God is saying whatever you need from Him begin to prepare yourself to receive it. Make ROOM for God to BLESS you!

Please continue to pray for me as I MAKE ROOM for God to enlarge my territory with MARRIAGE, and with my DAUGHTER, with the FURNACE, with GUTS and most importantly with WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING because it is my desire to KNOW HIM BETTER!