He loves Me! (you too)

Wow I am 4.5 hours away from being 28 years old. God has truly been faithful to me. It's funny... All I have been hearing is two things. 1) God's track record with me has been perfect and 2) Every sin that I have committed has been because of my unbelief.

As I look back over the past year and even years before, I believe that God has been so perfect to me even when I was sooooo messed up. When I turned 27 God told me that he was going to complete some things in my life. He did just what He said He was going to do!

I just finish writing a list of 10 things that I want God to help me with this year. At the top of that list is "help me trust again." Not just my trust in Him but in people. I want to trust that someone can actually love me. I want to trust that I do not have be perfect in everything and my mess ups are really alright. I want to trust that I am out of the box that I built up to protect myself over the years. I want to trust that it's okay to let people into my heart again.

Luke 12:7- Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

I want this year of my life to full of faith! I do not want to fear anymore and that requires me truly embrace the love of the Father 1st.

The next thing on my list is help people by my blog and my the gifts that God has given me.

So I start by this Blog. If you struggle with your self-worth and trusting in the Father. Know that God cares. When no one understands and you still find yourself struggling. I say let your prayer be...

Father it's me again. I ask you to help my unbelief. My head is telling me that you love me but heart is saying that I have made too many mistakes. Let your word get out of my head and into my heart. Let me trust you more! Let me meditate on your word and not just read it. Let the words become reality to me! Let the eyes of my heart be opened to the hope of knowing you more and more! Thank you for loving me and being patience with me Father. To rely on myself is dangerous so let my self worth not be in me but in you. Let me not think more of myself than I ought but with sober judgement, in accordance with the measure of faith that you have given to me (Roman 12:3) Increase my FAITH in you LORD!

Remember God's track record is perfect and every sin that you have and will commit will be because you do not trust His faithfulness!

Spilt Milk

On this morning its 8:20am and I realize that my daughter did not do her practice test for homework on last night. It’s 8:20am we need to be out of the house by 8:30am and she is begging me for a cup of cereal and the homework is still not done.

So, I placed the cereal and milk in a plastic cup. She sits at the table with her practice test and a pencil as I call out the words.

Then splash! In a effort to write and eat she spills her cup of cereal all over the carpet in the dining room. She immediately begins to defend herself and starts crying because she made a mistake. I stopped and looked at her and the Holy Spirit speaks “the way she is responding is how you respond to me.”

I looked at her, and I said Mary it’s okay. I let told her "I know that you did not mean to do it." I ran and got a towel and just wiped the milk off the table and cleaned the carpet. We finished the work and was off to school.

Many times we believe that God is going to beat us down for the mistakes we make in life so when we mess up we begin to cry and get defensive with God.

He reminded me this morning that in life I spill milk- I make mistakes-- but he is not like man he simply gets a towel and wipes up the mess I have I made. After he cleans up my mess, He gives me instructions on how not to make that mistake again.

~~I love you Daddy! Thanks for always reminding me in the small ways that you care about me and that you are for me not against me! ~~

Winds of the Father Blow Over Us!

Let the winds of the Father blow over your heart and your soul. Allow the Lord to come into your heart and do a new thing. Allow his power to touch your soul and make your soul line up with your spirit man.

Let the winds of the Father awaken you in 2010. He is unlocking new dreams and vision that are from his throne. He does not want you to live life aimlessly anymore. He does not want you beating the air. He wants you to be effective in 2010. He wants you not to just be excited about the new thing. He wants you to experience newness and refreshing.

He is blowing on the hurt. He is blowing on the disappointment. He is blowing on the rejection. He is blowing on that marriage. He is blowing on your children. He is blowing on your weariness. He is blowing on your sickness. He is blowing on your sin!

"Awake, Awake oh north winds. Awake Awake oh south winds! Blow over us! Refine us, test us, try us and make us pure gold. " Misty Edwards

Cry out for refreshing in your heart and GO HARD after God! Come naked and unashamed. He is waiting for a willing heart, a open mind and broken spirit.

It’s in your weakness that you are MADE STRONG! Welcome to 2010!!

Took this from my Daddy!

Let this New year be the beginning of a new life in each of us wherein "Old things are passed away."
NOT the old thoughts, of course, which are still true:
But those that remain to nurse and encourage our prejudices.

NOT the old emotions that are filled with kindness:
But all anger and bitter feelings and railing.

NOT the old reverence for the authority of God:
But all fears born of our unworthy service apart from him.

Not the old gracious ministries that blessed mankind:
But the harsh words, the suspicious looks, the clenched hands, and unwilling feet.

NOT the old habits that keep us in the straight way:
But the new fashions that make us unmindful of those things which hold life together in the unity of good manners.

NOT the old friends who grow more beloved each year because their worth is better apprecited:
But the new associations made from mercenary motives.

Let all blessed old things stay, but let the clutter of our heads and hearts be removed, that new inspirations and new affections may come in to gladden our lives.

-James Mckinnon-

More Wisdom Lord!

The Furnace is seeking God with everything we have. We as a body have decided to give God 21 days of prayer , fasting and giving. We are meeting at the ministry every night at 7pm and just letting God impart into us. It has already been a outpouring of restoration and a refilling. We have a great passion and desire to seek after God.

I have a great expectation! I have been studying the book of Proverbs. I am asking God to just pour out on me more wisdom and understanding. I have received a passion like never before to partner with the Holy Spirit. I am God’s beloved and I know that He delights in releasing the things I ask according to His will. I know I can not go wrong by asking for more wisdom and more understanding.

Many times I asked God for a heart to serve Him. I have asked God for a deeper revelation of who He is. I asked God for healing and restoration. I have asked God to help me be humble and follow instruction. I ask Him to bless my finances or bless my marriage and family. All that will come with more wisdom and understanding.

The first day I opened the book proverbs I begin to get a revelation on Solomon. You can read about Solomon in 1 Kings. The Lord appeared to Solomon during a dream and told him that he could ask for anything that he wanted and the Lord would release it. Before Solomom even made his request, I noted this about Solomon: He acknowledges the hand of God upon his life. He testifies to God of His goodness and faithfulness to his father David (who is noted to be a man after God’s own heart). He then acknowledges that he is not worthy and in the natural can not perform the task that God has trusted him with. He acknowledges his weakness, and that God still picked him.

It was out of full humility and honor for the Lord that he then ask for a discerning heart to govern the people and to be able to distinguish between right and wrong. God was pleased with Solomon’s request because Solomon's heart was in a lowly place. God released that Solomon's request and also riches and honor because He knew that Solomon could be trusted not to miss handle the riches.

If you keep reading about Solomon the word of God tells us that Solomon had a assignment to build the Lord’ temple. He was not skilled in the natural on how to do this. He asked for wisdom to rule God’s people and men and kingdoms were a blessing to him. They not only brought their natural subsrtances to assist him in building the temple but they sent skilled workers to help him build the temple. We all have a assignment in the Kingdom. Many us of look at the natural circumstances and we realize that we are young, we are unskilled, we have issues with sin and compromise. Like Solomon we must simply ask God for more wisdom and understanding. We must ask for the fear of the Lord to be our daily portion. If you noticed Solomon first recognized the hand of God upon his life and his family. The fear of Lord produces awe and reverence for the power of God operating in your life. The wisdom of God opens you up to receive instruction from your spiritual leader and the Holy Spirit. Wisdom and understanding produces discretion in your life. Wisdom saves you from the wickedness and lesser pleasures in the world. Wisdom will keep you from committing adultery against God and if you are married your spouse.

Wisdom causes you to trust the Lord and not lean on your on understanding. Wisdom can only come from the Father in heaven. You must start be acknowledging Him before you react to certain situations and people. If you acknowledge Him when sin and compromise knocks at the door, then it is easier to say "no" to those lesser pleasures.

“My son (daughter), preserve sound judgment and discernment, do not let them out of your sight; they will be life for you, an ornament to grace your neck. Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble;….. when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet….. For the Lord will be your confidence and will keep your foot from beging snared.” Proverbs 3:21-26

Wherever you find yourself right now. You just have to petition the Father for more wisdom and understanding. It is through the wisdom of God and the fear of the Lord that is the beginning of understanding that will produce good fruit in your life. Lean not on your understanding any longer. Place all of your trust in the Lord and allow Him to direct you path!

Making War

This past weekend has been a launching pad for me! I was forced to face myself for real. Sometimes we get so caught up in the religious routine of being a leader, teaching, praying, and being in place at church that we forget that God is not concerned with our works. He is concern with the position of our hearts. For the past month I have felt so far from God. I was holding on to so much disappointment, resentment, hurt, and FEAR.

I was afraid of Mary getting out of control, I feared my marriage failing, I feared people and their opinion of me, I feared that I was ineffective in ministry, I feared that my leader really did not want me around, I feared the idea that my family did not understand me, I feared the expectations that everyone had of me, I feared failure. FEAR had become who I was. I did not realize how fear can come upon you so strong and cause you to walk in hatred, anger, and push you away from the people who really love you.

Over the past two months I have been crying out to God to break off all these things that were trying to kill me. I was in a place of explosion. I was feeling like no one around me really cared about me. I kept playing over in my mind every negative word that has ever been said to me. I was remembering the past and my promise that I would never allow a man to hurt me again. Fear birthed suspicion. Suspicion birthed jealousy and jealousy birthed a spirit of Cain.

Please realize that this all started off as hurt and the hurt turned into iniquity. That Iniquity turned into anger and frustration. The Frustration caused me to go into protection mode. Protection mode is another word for Fear. When you begin to walk in fear you are forfeiting your right to your inheritance.

2 Tim states “For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.”

When I was operating in fear, I was not walking in love, power, and self-discipline. Some versions say "sound mind" and I was not walking in a "sound mind" and therefore my decisions were not sound. The moment that I started walking in fear and the love left and I lost contact with my savior.

1 John 4:8 “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

So God brought me to a place were I could not go any further than the place of repentance. So Saturday I found myself elevating my heart above my head. The spirit of fear had to die! God is allowing us to bring our heart to Him and he is allowing things to surface so that you can deal with the true position of Heart. God is not concerned with your works but He is concerned with you heart! Revival starts with conviction and Repentance. When you are convicted (not condemed) you know it’s nothing that you can do in your own strength. Remember that repentance brings blessing. I have a weight lifted off my shoulders. I not only confessed to the Father but the Father forced me to expose myself to everyone in leadership that morning. I allowed the light of truth to shine on the darkest places of my heart. That light exposed every lie that the enemy was trying to get me to believe. Now the enemy has no rights to my heart.

I urge you to let go and let God. I know you have heard that before. But we have to get to a place where we realize that we sin against no one else but God. When we are angry and hurt and disappointed , God is bigger. When someone lets us down, God is bigger, When we have expectations that are not met, God’s thought are higher! We have to stop letting words, issues, situations and people keep us from knowing God.

I leave you with this 2 Cor 13:3 (Message)“If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the sake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t have love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So no matter what I say, what I believe and what I do I’m BANKRUPT without love. “

Let the love of God invade you. It’s not your leader. It’s not your mother and father. It’s not your sister and brother. It’s not your friend or foe. It’s you standing in the need of prayer and in that place of humility you will be able to push through the hurt, pain, fear, anger, and disappointment. God is bigger and His love can not operate in you when you are full of iniquity and unforgiveness.

Let it Go and Grab a hold of God! It’s too much work trying to be the one in control. It’s too much work always finding fault in someone else. It’s too much work being selfish. The Word tells us to cast our burdens on Him because His burden is light. Cast down every vain imagination that exalts itself higher than God. Get your mind steadfast on the Father and He will keep you in perfect peace. In all things acknowledge God and He will direct your path. WWJD …… He would draw the line in the sand and say to you cast the first stone.

I urge you to enter in 2010 baggage free! It’s some people that you need to forgive for real. It’s some repentance that you need to do. It’s some things that we have to give up and PRIDE is one of them! God is not the author of confusion and where there is division and confusion that is not God. That is the enemy.

I know this post is long but God just wants us to draw close to Him. He wants us to know Him and without true Love we do not know Him. I got to know Him! How about you?

Repentance Brings Blessing

God has been faithful! His faithfulness has not depended on our ability to get everything right. He has shown us His grace and mercy even when we did not deserve it. We have taken His grace for granted. God is giving us the opportunity to get it right! Repent, Dust yourself off and begin to fight the good fight of faith.

Get back in the game people! Return to the Lord although you have falling by your iniquity. (Hosea 14) We have been driven away by our own sinful desires. There is no temptation that can come upon us that is not common to man. That means that the temptation that we face is common in this age, but we can only be tempted by what we desire. My Pastor always says for most people (normal people) you can not give them a little 5 year old and say rape them. That is sick! We would kill the person who tried to get us to do it. So when you are tempted, it's because in your heart you desire that sin.

God is saying "open up the doors of your heart and allow Me to come and purify you." Allow God to bless you. You have to embrace the GREATER pleasures of serving the Father. It's time to set aside the weight of sin and take hold of the Father's grace and tender kindness. His yoke is easy and His burden is light!

Turn to the Lord with all your heart with fasting, weeping and mourning. Give Him your heart and not your works, not your good idea, not your opinions, and not your lip service. He desires your heart. Give him your heart and He will be gracious to you. When you return to the Lord you will experience his mercy. (Joel 2)

There is a blessing in repenting.